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Jun. 30th, 2008 @ 02:06 pm Script people couldn't write this shit.
Current Location: next place to get kicked out of soon
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: sad shit
My mom is now all worried because I was crying on the phone. She knows how bad it must be for me to be crying. Now I know ya'll are confused but I'm nolonger writting out the whole drama thing for the world to see. What happend is private. All you need to know is that my mom is not happy right now with the situation and I'm afraid she is going to come here. I don't want her to. I just want to sit here with my coffee and my music and cry till I have to go. Because I have a feeling after today my world is going to go boom. Don't ask that is all you get from me.
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Jun. 30th, 2008 @ 12:20 pm My mom is nuts
Current Location: next place to get kicked out of soon
Current Mood: brainless
Current Music: michelle branch
She told me that if I have to put off school to do it. She must not know me very well. In all honesty she is most likely looking out for her own ass. She doesn't want me there I know that Hell I don't want to go there not with that fucking kid and not in the south end. So now she is all giving me ideas of places to apply I have a list of ones I've finished and I want to go to bed but I can't I'm about to start a second pot of coffee. 28 hrs people I should have turned this into a fund raiser. How long can the idiot stay awake? Lets pray I don't pass out on the computer chair. Yeah more coffee sounds good. Oh yeah the list so far, Safeway, Best buy, california pizza kitchen, red robin, jcpenny, Kmart, a security company, tried Target I have to go to the store I look and feel like a zombie this won't happen today. I'm looking at Aramark at the moment then Ross. I had printed up a bunch of resumes on like Thursday I was going to go to Pikes place and hand them out but then fighting and no sleep and yeah not today. All of a sudden heat bothers me normally I wouldn't have a problem sleeping in this heat but last night it must have been a good 100 upstairs even with the fan right on me. I was sweating that is gross. And there are bugs attacking me. This is not fair. I'm getting eaten and then a giant spider came from out of nowhere and I had to kill the fucker. *Screams* My mom was on the phone when I was cursing at it and spraying it with lysol and go figure I just looked at the area where I stomped on it and the fucker was still clinging to some small bit of life, I just had to go kill the bitch. I hate those things with a fucking bloody passion. I mean really it was all crippled trying to move across the floor WTF? Anyway my mom was like all use a broom to kill it. I'm not dumb they hide in the bristtles yeah I got him though. Take that creatures I'm allergic to. Ok so more searching and shit I need a smoke that will wake me up give a kick to the brain. maybe if I stay up all day I can get some sleep tonight. I figure it this way I need to work just in case I need another giant storage unit for my shit again and hotel room money so if there is an internet site to apply at let me know I'm taking suggestions. Oh email got to go could be a job.
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May. 28th, 2008 @ 04:47 pm I can't win for loosing
Current Location: Shell's tiny dwelling
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: news
Ok so she talks to me because she read my previous blog. Now I'm fucking EMO again. I love how when I get upset I'm "Emo". In all honesty I was kidding around and being nice by saying hey don't worry about me. I am aparently stupid for telling people not to worry about me because I don't always speak up. I speak when I need to. If it doesn't bother me I'm not going to say anything. I guess no matter what I say I was just being stupid and Emo. Hell I just feel insulted and wish I had a car right now so I could go drive off somewhere to chill out. I'm not going to go to Romans I won't have fun if I did because I'd worry that I might be too emo for them. So now I have the one thing I can't stand about the both of them. I'm fucking tired of them calling me fucking emo. They get that way sometimes too you don't see me calling them emo or anything. Hell with all the shit I have to deal with being emo is the least of my fucking worries. So waht to do keep being as chill as I am or start making a big deal out of small things that could possibly bother me. I try to be easy going for a reason. Life is to fucking short to freak out over little shit. If I can wait to eat till I get home I can wait. I don't like to tell people what to do. Even more so when I'm a guest at their place. I don't do it to my mom why would I do it to anyone else. I got the response of because my mom is a bitch from Shell. But that is not the case. I spent to much time speaking up and it go me no where. I prefer to be a shadow at times. I know this is hard to believe but it's true. I don't want to be the one to always make decisions and I don't like to tell people what to do. I don't think I'm going to talk online anymore it just gets me into trouble.
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annoyed face
May. 28th, 2008 @ 03:50 pm Why I hate talking online
Current Location: Shell's tiny dwelling
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: Judge Judy
So tonight me and Shell are supposed to go to Roman's. She tells me he is making dinner and as a joke to the last time I was there I asked if I would be able to eat dinner. The last time he made food there was soy sauce in it and it has wheat which I'm way to alergic to. She says to me "talk to him about what you want. we were thinking stir fry" so I say "meh if I can't eat it I can't eat it no need to make him work harder" well ya'll read it decide for yourselves.

I wanted the thai for dinner
Jicara: roman is making dinner
me: oh ok then
wait can I eat it this time
Jicara: talk to him about what you want. we were thinking stir fry
me: meh if I can't eat it I can't eat it no need to make him work harder
Jicara: no dumbass we were talking about it already
me: i know
if that is what you want then majority rules
Jicara: sigh maybe you should just not come then
me: and I'm not gonna make him make something else
no I'll be fine
Jicara: nevermind.
me: I'm just saying if he uses soysauce i'm not going to have any but I'm not going to tell him to do something else
Jicara: whatever
me: what
I'm trying to be nice and you are getting pissed at me I don't get it
Jicara: you're not being nice. you're being stupid.
me: why am I being stupid
I don't think you get what i'm saying
this is why I talk on the phone ppl don't get me when I talk online
Jicara: no.. you're not getting it
we're ACTIVELY trying to be considerate about you
and instead of shutting up and saying thank you and inputting your thoughts
you're just saying forget about it, instead of acknowledging that we're trying to be nice and thoughtful
thats rude.
me: no I'm not
I said you guys want stir fry and if it has soy sauce it's ok I'll just not eat instead of making ya'll have something different
Jicara: okay.. you're not getting it
me: neither are you
Jicara: we SUGGESTED stirfry on the thought you could eat it
we're just suggesting on what you can eat
me: you didn't say that
Jicara: i can't deal with this right now
i shouldn't have to
me: you just said stir fry
Jicara: its called 'us being considerate of you being able to eat something too'
me: i think stir fry I think soy sauce
Jicara: and hence, why you're just being rude
im leaving
me: no
Sent at 3:43 PM on Wednesday
me: I like stir fry but you didn't say that it was going to be gluten free stir fry you just said "talk to him about what you want. we were thinking stir fry" that wasn't clear enough so I felt bad about making things harder on you so that is why I said I wouldn't eat
Sent at 3:46 PM on Wednesday
me: I didn't know dude you didn't clearly say what you were thinking till you were pissed but I'm just going to stay hime because now I look like an asshole when I was trying to accomodate you, I don't like that you guys have to think about me

See big missunderstanding now I just wanna stay home because she didn't tell me shit till she got pissed and now she won't listen. I just think that she should have said hey we were thinking stir fry because you should be able to eat that. And she doesn't get it so now she isn't talking to me. Fuck me can I get a fucking break. I hate that my friends have to fix food differently or eat at different places and all the other shit they have to deal with because of me. I'm going to become anti-social I swear.
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Cry, Sara
May. 24th, 2008 @ 05:03 pm ok I'm back....
Current Location: Shell's tiny dwelling
Current Mood: angryangry
So the site I've been at is going nuts. I don't get it all but it's drama drama drama there so I want to write but I've only got this place to go. It's not that I don't love ya'll it's well just not like the other site. Here it's all people I know that talk to me never new random people. I like new random people. I guess it was cool also because not everyone knew me there I could bitch and not feel like I was unloading on just my friends. People who I never even spoken to would randomly give advise or comment. I guess it was to good to be true.

So I want to party I want to go have fun get drunk and just rock out. But I can't I'm broke my new job doesn't pay well. And not to mention nobody to go hang with. Like tonight I'll be sitting at home doing homework while Shell goes to Romans to hang out. I hate this. I'm so fucking boring. Ok I'm not really but the fact is I don't go out with my friends, trust me it's not because I don't want to. They are to busy or I live to far away or whatever other shitty reasons I get. I think the worst one is the one where I'm told I should come out to my friends places because I live to far away but they won't pick me up or take me back home. I don't have a car what the fuck do you want from me. You have cars fuck you.

anyway I don't want to write anymore for the moment so later.
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Apr. 11th, 2008 @ 04:11 pm I met Chris Rock!
Current Location: School Library
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: cute is what we aim for
So I had a job interview with a temp agency for an office assistant job with Washington Mutual, it went really well and I should know more soon. So after I was done I was walking around Downtown and I randomly look up and it's Chris Rock! He was just walking around chillin. I guess he has a show here tonight I don't keep up with all the shows going on around here because I'm so busy with work and school so I had no clue. Anyway I pause inwardly freak compose myself and say "Excuse me sir. It's great to meet you." I shake his hand and surprisingly he doesn't talk much I ask for an Autograph and he asks if I have a pen and paper I drop my bag and start looking through it. I grab my pen and my notebook for my class notes and have him sign it. It says; "Luv God Chris Rock" (way to nervous to point out that he was the 13th apostle not God in Dogma) I thank him again tell him my girlfriend is going to flip out when she hears this and bid him a good day. It was of the massive Awesome! Now I'm at school working on homework. Today is a great day!
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Feb. 9th, 2008 @ 08:55 am The world has turned.......
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Current Music: silence
(if you can finish that song lyric I used for my subject you get big hugs.)  

Well it's started my job must know that I really want to leave, they gave Tim a key to the store. I need to find a job before the end of the month. I hate it there, I'm tired of being in pain and being broke. My brother called me the other night asking me if I had 600 bucks for a car he saw. I told him no and that I refuse to buy used cars ever again. In other words I will be riding the bus for the rest of my life. 

No one believes in the dream. I mention that I want to be famous they laugh. I think the dream will die soon.

Kalika came to town I didn't get to see her. I'm not happy.

I've been bored lately I want to be out and about but alas being broke kills that.

I haven't seen my mom for a bit she has been busy helping Dujure and the kids with the moving they have been staying with her. I feel bad for her that apartment is tiny, It was hard when it was Wendell, her and me there. Now it's Mom, Wendell, My brother Ryan, His G/F Dujure, and her three kids. Yeah no fun there. Maybe I can get her to hang with me this week sometime if she doesn't go back to work.

Anyway it's off to work I go. I hate getting up on the weekends to go to work. I want to cry. I think I'ma come home and sleep till monday.
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Jan. 31st, 2008 @ 07:32 pm In the words of Ice Cube....."Today was a good day."
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: TV... Are you smarter than a fifth grader?
I sat around for a bit this morning got up and went downtown for a minute then took the bus back over towards home. I got off hella early and went to the Public Storage to pay my bill. Instead of taking the bus back I decided to walk to one of the little stores around this area and then I walked home it was more than two miles that I walked today. And the good thing was I wasn't forced to do it I did it on my own! Now if only I would go to the gym Shell pays for it (well I give her money but still) My work schedual sucks ass it's part of the reason I don't go to the gym. I cooked today it felt good to cook. I need to do that more but once again work hinders that too. I need a new job because by the time I get home I don't want to do shit but lie in bed and cuddle with Shell. 

Shell wants to loose weight so do I but work is evil and I can't do what I need to get rid of my gut. My belly should not stick out more than my tits. (And my tits aren't small) I felt good today for doing all the walking I did and cooking. I need to change some stuff and with tomorrow being the First I guess it would be a good thing to start working on myself. I have things I want to do and In order to do them I need to take control of my life. For once things are going pretty well for me and if I don't start helping things stay ok they will fall apart. So now I will be getting up early because Shell has to be up early so I will eat in the morning, I will try to walk more during the week and go to the gym at least once a week. And I will cook more often instead of eating out. Not to mention I need to work harder on not smoking the summer will be here quick and when we move I would like to be smoke free. 

Other than that I'm still sick but I'm going to the DR. on the 7th so that is good. I am looking for a new job because I don't want Shell supporting me forever that is fucking dumb I'm going to be 25 in March I need to grow up a little bit more. (Side note I just found out that I can name all of the defensive positions for baseball.) It's time to work hard for me and the future I want. Right now that is getting my old apartment payed off so I can get on the lease for the next one. I also want a newer car that shouldn't breakdown after a month and I want it from a dealership. I want to make enough money so I can save money and not worry about being broke all the time. 

Anyway I'm doing ok I can't wait till we move so I can have my clothes and stuff. I can't wait till the 12th it will be six months. Wow I can't believe she hasn't gotten tired of me yet, God I love her. :) Well time to stop writting got some stuff to do laters ya'll hope everyone is doing well.
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Dec. 29th, 2007 @ 09:48 am Umm.... Yeah I"m Backish
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: One Republic- Goodbye Apathy
OK quick update before work. 

Lets see........... Well my car broke down over a week ago and the guy who sold it to me is being an ass and not helping me fix it like he promised. He had the key for like four days and didn't do shit. If I don't get my car by monday the Planned Parenthood will tow it and then I'm assed out. (Yes my car broke down at a Planned Parenthood I know it's funny but damn it.) 

Christmas was well lets say interesting, Shell loved her gifts, We had fun with my family and it fucking snowed. Now It was also dissapointing because I was the only person that didn't get any gifts all day. I got a crap load of IOU's and Sorry's. Hell my brothers Ex came by and gave everyone but me a gift. I was cool about it till the next day at work when I got "the look" my manager TIna and co-worker Linda were all going on about what they got from their family's and then they both stop and look at me, (I'm not going to lie) I told them I got the gift that Tina gave me the day before X-mas. They asked if I was serrious and I told them yes that I got some IOU's (well two My mom and Michelle) and they gave me the look of "poor kid" and all day long I kept getting the what did you get question from customers and by the time I got home I wanted to fucking cry.

Shell and I went out the next day and I got myself a new Cell phone, and Shell made due on her IOU, and got me a new winter coat It's by Echo ( is that how you spell it?)  well it's a popular brand for black people who have the money to get it or hit a huge sale like we did. Now I'm waiting for my mom to make due on her IOU and get a car to make it out to Puyallup to get my few gifts from the other family.

Other than that life is good. I'm pretty happy right now.Anyway got to get ready for work.


OK I have been informed that I missed a gifty... My bad. At the start of the month Mikey and Leo had a small shindig and they got me and awesome comic book (graphic not so novel) I love this gift and forgot to mention it before because I was talking about X-mas Day. Sorry Ya'll Love ya.
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scared kitty
Dec. 19th, 2007 @ 09:38 am It's been two weeks?
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: John Mayer- your body is a wonderland
Ok so I think I fell off the radar a bit there. My bad. Life is ok I still hate my job and can't wait till I get a new one. They started to bitch about my choice of clothes, I see it like this there is no way in hell I'm going to be all dressed up for that job, I sell booze not cell phones or watches. I crawl on the floor and deal with dusty shit all day long. They can blow me. Sure I'll get some new black pants and some nice polos that are from Wal-mart, so they can get messed up but other than that no.  

Shell and I are doing well, We had a small falling out like last week but I think it was good for us. We both got to say alot of what was going on in our heads and she got to see how insane I really am. We also hit the four month mark. I'm happy I for once have a girlfriend who cares about me. It's nice to know that someone other than my mother loves me. 

Christmas is coming and I am doing well on the whole gift thing. I've got a few more things to get and I'll be done. 

Other than that....... Not much going on just working alot cuz the holidays. Oh yeah Shell and Roman are trying to get my ass in gear and get me into school. And we are all looking for new jobs, I'm letting them go off and find new ones first so I can use my medical next month, plus they need better jobs sooner than I do, Hell I get another raise next month. 

But yeah all is well Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas!

I Love you all.
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